I pretty much have the most awesome puppy ever. There are times when I look at him and think, man, you are one awesome puppy. Then I go over to him and say “Paw” and he gives me the doggy equivalent of a high five. We get compliments from people whenever we take him out for walks and the dog trainer who teaches our puppy classes has even said he’s an excellent example of his breed and by that I think she means he’s pretty awesome.
On Saturday, Hurley Superdude Bantog turned 6 months old, graduated puppy kindergarten and started Basic Obedience. He celebrated this milestone of a day by going down to the grassy area of English Bay with his Pomeranian-Poodle girlfriend, Talulah, in the freezing cold and ate goose poo while practicing how to heel. He sure knows how to impress the ladies.
For the most part, Hurley’s pretty chill. Laid back. Easy going. A real super dude. Hence the middle name. But every once in a while he turns into a total maniac in the evening. And it’s not the same crazy puppy stuff like when he was really wee. Now it’s an increased frequency of the weird obscene annoying stuff like humping pillows and that big dog stuffy he usually attacks. I get that he’s probably hitting doggy puberty, it apparently hits smaller dogs early. I’m aware dogs go through that. One of the reasons I decided to get a male dog over a female dog was because I didn’t want to deal with cleaning up doggy menstruation all over the house. I’ve heard stories. It’s gross. Aside from witnessing male dogs exposing their red rockets and hearing embarrassing stories about them humping the house guests, I figured boy dogs would be less maintenance. Hurley’s definitely exposed his red rocket to us plenty of times and humped a couple of our house guests but he’s never actually done the humping thing with the red rocket. I imagine that combo would be more mortifying.
The other night, however, Hurley was going completely ape shit on the dog stuffy in his typical crazy playful manner. Then he decided he was going to really show the toy who was boss and started humping away at it like a porn star. I gave him my usual “You know, it’s not customary to be doing this in front of your mom”. But he’s a dog so he kept going and I ignored him. Then in my peripheral I saw Hurley jump off the stuffy, red rocket exposed and he did something that completely horrified me. He squirted. And out of complete shock I screamed the words I never thought I’d ever exclaim to a living thing. “Oh My Gawd! Did you just jizz on my floor?!!”
So there's my little boy. Getting all big and grown. And now that he's six months old, it's snippy time. Happy Half a Year, buddy. Say good-bye to your cahones :(